It’s war, but not as we know it
The lovely people over at Bawtry Paintball Fields invited us over for the day. 2 out of the 3 staff at Out Magazine had never been before, so on a fresh and crisp saturday morning, Ryan and Amy nervously donned their best war gear and headed off to be shot at mercilessly. I on the other hand, knew exactly what awaited them and was already planning on shooting them in the head (it hurts more).
It’s been a while since I’ve even been paintballing, and it has to be said, the site is even better now than I remember! They’ve changed it up a bit, introduced a few new levels, including the helicopter VIP level which is insane and have made the other levels bigger-a lot bigger which as we all know automatically equals better. We got in, got signed up and got our overalls, masks (always get the upgraded mask-it costs a little bit more but is worth every penny) and sat down for the safety briefing. The marshalls are great, really know their stuff and make sure you’re completely aware of what’s going on safety wise-it helps if you actually listen which I’m not absolutely convinced Ryan and Amy did because there were bullets all over the place when they were trying to fill up their guns!!!
After all that, it’s time for war! We started on the fortress level, which has a huge building which you have to attack then defend and it is great fun! However, this confident, macho writer has to concede that I got the shit beaten out of me straight away. One thing I had forgotten is how much they hurt when they hit you. 45 seconds in and BOOM! Straight on top of the head! Multiple lives are a really nice touch because the worry is that you get picked off early doors and your day is over, so to be able to keep coming back and getting shot again makes the cost of the day unimportant. It turns out that it was Amy who shot me in the head, something she constantly reminded me of. However, I managed to put a bruise on her arse from 20 feet away, so big you’d see it from space (the bruise, not her arse).
It is with great sadness, that I must admit that the two newbies, who at the start looked like puppies armed for battle, turned out to be better than me. We were split up into two teams-we had taken friends and family-and I was against Amy and Ryan, who it became apparent, were either amazing paintball hustlers or they simply changed into weapons of mass destruction when they had the gun in their hands. Either way, I’m a little more scared of them to this day. That’s the best thing about paintballing; there is always one bloke, probably works in a bank, who turns into GI Joe and runs around taking it way too seriously (the chap in question on our day didn’t even bother with overalls and had his own holster for his gun) but then two normally mild and relaxed people from a magazine ended up destroying him in every game we played! Amy and Ryan wound up hammering everyone whilst I had arguments with GI Joe as to why I wasn’t willing to ‘sacrifice’ myself for the team!!!
It’s a fantastic day out. They have thought of everything-the food, toilets, facilities in general are all great and despite claims that it is expensive, I thoroughly disagree. Alton Towers is a great day out but is more expensive than this and you definitely do less with your day. Plus, BPF has the Predator; a lovable arsehole alien who scares the crap out of everyone who sees him and only shoots you when you move, or blink, or breathe. Seriously, even GI Joe was shitting it when he was unleashed. Old Predator lived up to his reputation too, shooting around my feet for no good reason when I wasn’t even holding my gun. But I deserved it, I looked at him the wrong way and for that I’m sorry Pred.
So, get a group together, make a booking and go and have a good old laugh hurting each other in the woods; it’s one of the best things you can do with your time in Doncaster. Oh, and when you’ve been, send me some photos of your bruises please. I like that kind of thing. Send them to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject heading “To the guy who shit it at Paintballing”,